Thursday, January 01, 2009
2AM a few nights ago, while I was depressed and stuff
I feel like I'm living a double life. When I’m in eLBi, I have a social life: hanging out with different friends and groups of friends from morning until night. When I’m back in Antipolo, however, I’m turned upside down: I am a loner, with no immediate community to accompany me, which is probably the reason why I am forever doing things on my own, a mockery of true independence.
When I’m in eLBi, I feel so happy surrounding myself with people, and it has taken a toll on my Antipolo life, where I have supposedly been content with my isolation before. It is not an easy trip out of the house, I’ll admit, for the nearest friends live at least forty minutes away from me. Still, I persist, if only to feel others’ genuine company, not the awkward and easily misunderstood artificial gobbledygook that is chatting over the Internet. Still, it is not nothing.
It’s all a matter of seeing the glow of other auras, I guess. That “warmth” the existentialists said we needed to stop looking for in other people and find in ourselves in order to truly live as islands...
Imma gonna stop nao I think I’m repeating myself again
