Sunday, July 20, 2008
Two centavos on writing, twenty nothings for twenty people
Writing is not for cowards. There is nothing cowardly about wanting to express your thoughts in a medium that places a lot of, if not the most, importance in choosing what elements (word? phrase? sentence? other?) and how to place these elements in order to bring forth the clearest-as-possible emotions and messages. And yes, even obscurity counts as a medium and as a message.
Those two centavos given, the following are the twenty nothings. For twenty different people with twenty different names and twenty different faces and twenty different minds. In order not to jostle the emotions of any potential reader, I managed to place all the not-so-good (I'm not one to judge your idea of 'bad' after all) ones first and all the not-so-bad (I'm not one to judge your idea of 'good' after all) ones last (they are in no particular order, though). As Dante once wrote somewhere, you have to pass through Hell and climb up to Heaven, not the other way around.
(Funny, though, that a tag such as this comes out just a few weeks after I did this, though in poem form.)
1. Stop living in your worlds. The real world is also a fun place to be in, if you stop leaving it and if you stop comparing it to the ones in your mind. You should know, one aspect of your major thrives on comparing things.
2. Wow, you're way more than psychic. You're probably even meta-psychic, considering your ability to talk and blackmail people about thoughts that they never thought of in the first place. On second thought, you're not psychic and certainly not meta-psychic. Just a dumbass. Shut the fuck up already, dumbass.
3. Let's face it: what you did was stupid. Let's face it: my thinking you couldn't possibly do what you did, that was also stupid, if not stupider. So let's just not talk about it. Honestly, I'm so tempted by the idea of personally coercing you into a vow of eternal silence, but I guess I trust your sober self enough not to do so. Now, what to do with your drunken self?
4. You have no right to tell me what I'm going to be in the future, be it near or distant. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't care what happens to you in the future. After all, you have no idea what I busy my life with anyway. And I prefer to keep the illusion up. Someday, though, you'll regret ever telling me anything of the sort. That's a promise.
5. I know we started this for fun and because of its truths, but you've gone too far. Face it, your credentials are unimpressive at best, you flaunting them the mark of a pompous ass at worst. So stop it. There's a huge difference between practicing something and criticizing it, especially on the receiving end. You never caught on.
6. You either don't trust us, or are hungry for more attention than can realistically be given you. That's why you're always trying to make yourself look more intriguing than what you really seem to be. But as you can see, people are already getting sick of all your faux intrigue. So either start changing, or just shut up. In the end, after all, everybody only cares for their selves.
7. We haven't seen each other in years. Heck, even back then we hardly saw each other. We've grown up and lived and loved our separate lives. Despite these said years, you still hate me when you see me. Don't worry, I also still hate you when I see you. Touche.
8. All those years, and you're still trying to one-up everybody around you? That is not what I expected of you, but I guess the fact that I expected at all was kind of stupid in itself. So I will leave you to your devices. You see to be happy enough with them anyway.
9. Come on, admit it. Nobody's going to love you less for it. You probably feel it yourself, but I'm not one to talk about what you really feel. You're the only one who can do that. I hope you know you know that, and you probably do.
10. Do I literally have to whip you into shape to convince you that you can do much better than what you're doing at the moment? I hope not. But you know that I do what I have to do. You, after all, are partly my responsibility, at least for now.
11. I want to be able to talk to you more openly, to know you better, but you seem to have this aloofness, almost as if you thought my eyes displayed an ulterior motive, or something of the sort. Trust me, malice is the last thing on my mind when I'm talking to you. Don't take him seriously either. He's just like that. I think.
12. I miss the geekiness. All of it. I wish we just never grew out of it, at least in that aspect. For the escapism of our geekiness was an otherworldy bliss that a non-geek will never be able to relate to. And this probably applies to all our other geek-friends too.
13. Ideas are just that. They don't do anything for you, unless you enjoy the romance of struggling for transcendent causes. Might as well conform with everything until you can see yourself with enough power to do something about it. At the very least, chances are that it will put you in a much better position than what you are in now.
14. So I've heard you're literally an alien back there. One of those green things with eye stalks and dripping with gunk. I guess your heart never found its way there, after all. I hope it's already in the right place, though.
15. I haven't seen you in some time. I've heard rumors, and they don't say anything good about you, but I guess that's what rumors inevitably end up as: blackmailing bad news. I just hope that you know what you're doing, whatever that means to you. You're too nice a person to get messed up the way some of us are now.
16. Time after time, your life has been undeniable and inexplicable proof that people still listen to the select few Renaissance men of this day and age. I'm happy to be doing in-your-face level insane things with you as your friend. And I hope everybody else who also does is as happy as I am.
17. You are a person who's drawn to people who have what you think you don't have (which I have), and I'm a person who's drawn to people who have what I know I don't have. And you're right: this, among other things, is probably why we've been friends until now.
18. Thanks for the books. Thanks for the time. Thanks for putting me down. Thanks for keeping me up. Thanks for listening. Thanks for talking. Thanks for everything else my memory and paranoia do not permit me to mention at the moment. You help keep me sane.
19. I don't know what it is that makes me feel like I can tell you everything. Maybe it's because of the things we have in common. Maybe it's because I feel you won't get offended by all the shit that comes from my mouth for some reason. Maybe it's because you somehow remind me of an old friend of mine who swore that she'd personally beat me up if ever I ever even considered turning gay, even though you said nothing of the sort.
20. You're really hot. You're so hot, in fact, that I don't believe you deserve to be with just anybody, just because you crave more than what every day can give you. I'm saying this because I think you deserve much more than the pile of shit that was handed to you last time. Because what happens to shit when it gets too close to something hot? It explodes.
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